Our Own Little Barriers And Layers

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I went to visit my mom – who’s on deployment – and had not much internet access.

I have a barrier to protect myself from the world. Or at least, I used to. A barrier is what you use to protect your emotions, one of my old friends told me.
There’s a lot of problems in the world that most of the time, most of us don’t want to see. A lot of times, people say things that hurt us mentally or emotionally. Inside a barrier, we could remained untouched.

Or so we liked to think.

Also, barriers could keep people from seeing the real you, just how layers work, too. If you’re someone like me, who has a lot of layers, then it’s awfully easy to be misunderstood, or thought to be a bad person when – in the inside – we’re really good people.

People, everybody, needs to stop looking at the most few outer layers. There are too many layers to count, and the outer ones aren’t who we really are.



What Do You Plan for the Future?

Well, sorry, guys, for missing my I-have-a-post! deadline (just to put it out there, I’m supposed to post something new every Saturday). So, here’s a post.

We all have something we look forward to. It could be something nearly impossible, or something that anyone could do if they put their heart into it. But no matter what, if we have a dream, we should be trying to reach it. Even for children, we should be doing something that could take us a step closer to what we want to be. If you want to be a dancer, then practice every day. If you want to be an architect, then start drawing. If you want to be a fashion stylist, then start sewing.

There’s nothing that you can’t do to reach your dreams.

But that doesn’t mean we won’t struggle as if we’re going through murky waters and climbing over walls to reach our dreams. Wherever we go, there’s somebody who’s going to push us down over and over again. But it’s okay. It’s okay as long as we try not to give up.

Yet, it’s okay to give up sometimes. It’s okay not to be able to sing that one song. It’s okay not to be able to draw a perfect window. Because we aren’t perfect at all. We all have our own flaws. The thing we have to remember is, it’s okay to have flaws. If we think we don’t have flaws, then we’re wrong. We just can’t see all of them, or maybe we see all of them. But accepting those flaws is the hardest part. If we don’t accept them, then we won’t go anywhere with life. By accepting our flaws, we’re showing that we’re ready to face them.

I feel as if I’m contradicting myself here. Okay, then, now it’s review time. We can reach our dreams if we really work hard enough, but life is a hard road. You have to know when it’s okay to give up and when it’s not okay to give up, and it’s important to accept our flaws. Got it? I hope so, because I’m a very contradictory person.

Back to the subject, we sometimes won’t be able to reach our dreams as fast as we wanted to. But that’s okay, because every little step counts when we’re trying to catch our dreams. If you can’t leap, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. If you can’t crawl, still, don’t stop trying.

Sometimes, it’s okay if we don’t reach our ultimate dream. It’s okay if I don’t become a famous, known-world-wide author. If I’m famous in the city I live in, then yes! I’ll be happy! Another example is this: My mom always wanted to be a doctor. But as time went on, it would cost too much money and probably take her too long to become a doctor while being a mother to her children, so she decided to simply be a nurse. It was close enough to her dream to be happy.

As I said, it’s okay to give up sometimes.

Well, to whoever’s reading this, I wish you my best wishes for catching your dreams. Oh, a good quote, “You can’t catch your dreams until you let go of them.”

Getting Rid of All the Memories

So, today my family had to start getting rid of all the toys that we played with when we were younger. We don’t have to get rid of all of them, just half. But it’s hard. Do my parents expect me to get rid of half of my memories? Each and every little toy reminds me of a day when I was younger when I was happy, when I had no worries whatsoever. Once I get rid of them, I won’t be able to remember so clearly anymore. I might forget it altogether.

I don’t want to forget any of the memories I had when I was younger. Good or bad, they are my life. They make up every piece of what I was, what I am, and what I will be. How could I – how dare I – even think about getting rid of them? Every book, every toy, every poster, every story, and every small thing I have to get rid of is part of my life.

To quote Momiji from Fruits Basket, “But I think… I want to live with all my memories. Even if they’re bad memories. Even if they’re memories that only hurt me… that I’d rather forget. If I keep them and keep trying, without running away, then someday I’ll be strong enough that those memories can’t defeat me. I believe that because I want to think that there’s no such thing as a memory that’s ok to forget.”

Those horrible memories that made me want to hurt myself long ago only make me stronger now. The fact that I was able to withstand the torture makes me worthier than all those others who gave up. Anyone, everyone, whoever is able to withstand the hurting is someone strong.

When we cry, we are brave. Not everyone is able to shed tears. Some people think that being emotionless is better than breaking down. No. NO. The people who cry, the people who scream, the people who have their hearts broken, the people who die over and over again are brave.

We, we are more human than the rest.

If you think that crying is weak, if you think that the smallest things are useless, you are wrong. We are strong. We are brave. And we are true to our emotions.

Faking emotions is so much worse than crying in public. Faking happiness is wrong.

Be true to yourself, and be strong.

You are real.

No matter what religion you are, no matter where you come from, you are a real person. Appearances can fade away, while the real you will continue living.

I think it’s horrible how people look at each other and judge on their gender, religion, sexuality, race, and so many other things. Though people say they don’, everyone assumes something about someone – it’s really hard not to once you’ve seen them act the same way over and over again. Who knows, maybe that person you’re saying bad things about will be your greatest friend one day. Not just that – it hurts the other person’s feelings. I’m telling you, for years I was quiet and reading books all the time, and everyone assumed I was really shy or I didn’t want friends, and that hurt.

Truly, I think that people have layers of personalities – quoting Shrek, “Ogres are like onions…they both have layers.” – and when we meet someone for the first time, we don’t see their whole life, we don’t see the whole picture. We only see a segment, and usually the little segment that they want to show us, maybe to impress us. People do that all the time – saying things or acting so they impress other people, and that’s one way assumptions start.

The thing is, it’s okay to try to impress people. But overdoing it and not being any part of who you really are is not the way to do it. Because if you’re pretending to be someone else, other people will think you’re the kind of person they’ll want to hang around with, but when you show your true colors, they could be just really confused, and they might not want to be your friend anymore.

Another thing that we have to learn to do is to accept people the way they are. Because other people are real, too, and they have feelings that can easily be hurt. If you’ve been friends with someone with a long while, then you realize that they’re a different religion, it’s not going to be the best idea to force them to convert. The best thing you could do is tell them about your religion if they’re interested, because doing anything else could end your friendship with them.

Though we may not know it, though we think changes do come and change us, we will always stay as the same person we’ve been for a long time.

We, we are real.

The Y.O.U. Challenge! (who are YOU?)

There are so many people in this world, and with all that people, it’s hard to know who we are, because we are influenced by the people around us.
So, take a second, and think about the small things that make you, well, you.
The thing is, a lot of us have multiple personalities. And when people look at someone, they make assumptions, like, “Oh, she’s so shy.” or “He’s so stuck-up. He wouldn’t want to be friends with us.”
But how do they know if that’s true? Or maybe, if you’re one of those people who say things like that (actually, I believe we all are), why do you say things like that…when you know it’s most likely not true at all?
Seriously, just because we are geeks, dancers, cheerleaders, scientists, football players, fashionistas, doesn’t mean we’re limited to that certain part of who we are.
We all have our own inner selves, but altogether, it’s just one YOU.

You know, sometimes, we have to show the world who we are, though sometimes it’s hard to stand out or do something that no one else can do.
Wait, actually, you’re already doing something that no one else can do.
You’re being you.

I have a small little….thing for those who would like to fill it out. Some of the questions are serious, some aren’t as much. Some are easy, some may be harder. It’s basically so you can figure out who you are, and maybe others can find out who you are, too.
This is the Y.O.U challenge.

Not all questions need to be answered if you feel uncomfortable with them.
Please, do not be rude to someone because of one of their answers. Don’t call them stupid.
This is something to have fun with, so if you see this, you can dare other people, but if you do that, try to link to this post or your own post with the Y.O.U. challenge. Also, make sure to include the rules (that is, if this counts as rules)
You don’t have to make your answers long or short–do whatever you feel like doing!
If you don’t have a blog, it is absolutely okay to do this on twitter, facebook, google+, and the like of that. You can even spread this to Blogger and Tumblr, if wanted.
To be short, the whole point of this is to show people the whole of who you are, not the simplest or the most obvious thing about you, and what you’re like.
So, go show off the real you!

What are three of your personalities that show the most?
What is the best and worst part of the day for you?
Which season of the month is your favorite?
What are some of your hobbies?
What religion do you believe in?
What is your ideal for a friend?
Are you happy with the way your life is right now?
Describe yourself with three words, each one starting and in the order of Y, O, and U.
What is your idea of fun?
What did you do today?
What does your family usually do for Christmas?
As a bonus to the above question, what about Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Easter, and holidays of the like?
What is the weirdest and normal-est thing about you?
Do you act different than how people expect you to act? If so, how?
How big is your family?
Are you a spender or a saver?
Do you think complicatedly, or do you have clear thoughts?
Which one do you like better, books/reading/writing or math/science?
Which do you prefer more– comfort or fashion?
What is your hair like? (straight, brown, curly, blonde, smooth, etc.)
Do you prefer email/IM or texting/phone calling?
How are you different than all the other people of the world?
How are you the same as other people in the world?
What “category” of people do you fit into most? (geeks, writers, fashionistas, sport-lovers, etc.)
What was the best and worst day of your life?
Do you like cleaning?
Do you prefer heat or cold?
Would you use a pencil or a pen? Why?
If you’re family was in danger and were going to be killed, and you were the only one who could save them, how would you react and what would you do?
Are you addicted to sweet stuff like candy?
Write five to fifteen sentences about yourself in third person.

And for those who are participating with a blog, and would like to show that you’re part of this challenge, I made this:

Changing the World

Most times, people want to do something that will change the world. At the same time, we’re affected by all the changes. Some changes are good, some changes are bad.
But the thing is, nothing can stay the same after long periods of time. Yes, some things do last forever, but there are small changes, of course. Some changes are for good, some for bad, as I said.
But one problem I went through as I grew was accepting the changes. It’s hard to look at something and know it won’t be the same. But it’s okay, because we have our memories, and as long as we have that, nothing can truly be lost.

And about making your mark on the world. . .well, whatever you want to do, you should try it. I’ve heard from a wise person that “you only regret things that you don’t do.” Personally, I see that two ways, because if you did something, you didn’t do the opposite thing, so then you’re always not doing anything, but. . .I might get to that later.
The point is, if you never try something, you never know what will happen. There were countless times in my life when I wondered that if I did one thing instead of another, my life would probably be changed drastically.

Wow, I don’t know if I got off-topic there.

Don’t let the changes affect who you are completely–they may change you or give you different opinions, but don’t get swept off by the current, find your anchor and stay strong.

I have no idea if made any sense here. o.o’

Good day!

Put on some headphones and listen to the music.

There are days when everything goes wrong.
Like today, for me.
Today, I got in trouble when it wasn’t my fault. I accidently cursed in front of my friends (I don’t know how that happened, though). Everyone’s been blaming me and stressing me out.

But through the years, I’ve learned something.
“Put on some headphones and listen to the music.”
It’s the best thing you can do when you’re angry, or upset, or sad. Music is an escape from the world. And it can help you realize…that maybe you’re not alone in this world. Maybe there are other people in this world who know how you feel. Maybe–just maybe…
You’re not as horrible as you might think you are.

What I hate is how some people say that music isn’t good, especially rock or pop music. I disagree. I mean, some lyrics can be disturbing, but the music I love the most is the music that shakes you, the kind of music that no matter what, you can’t tune it out.
As if it’s trying to reach out to you unlike people who just let you fall.

It’s sort of strange–the things we hate can help us. I used to hate rock music, or anything like that. But now…I realize it is actually something to believe in.

You know, I also hate how people think crying is being weak. Okay, I admit, when you’re crying over small things, or things that don’t really matter, then that’s just…childish. But the people who cry over things that can never come back, things that should never be gone, they are the ones who can remember. They are the ones who can realize that some things gone can’t come back.
In short, the people who cry are not weak. The people who don’t show any affection or sadness are the ones who weak.
After all, crying is hard to do after so many tears are shed already.

Again, I don’t know if I expressed my thoughts correctly, but I guess I’ll go post this now before changing my mind.