What Do You Plan for the Future?

Well, sorry, guys, for missing my I-have-a-post! deadline (just to put it out there, I’m supposed to post something new every Saturday). So, here’s a post.

We all have something we look forward to. It could be something nearly impossible, or something that anyone could do if they put their heart into it. But no matter what, if we have a dream, we should be trying to reach it. Even for children, we should be doing something that could take us a step closer to what we want to be. If you want to be a dancer, then practice every day. If you want to be an architect, then start drawing. If you want to be a fashion stylist, then start sewing.

There’s nothing that you can’t do to reach your dreams.

But that doesn’t mean we won’t struggle as if we’re going through murky waters and climbing over walls to reach our dreams. Wherever we go, there’s somebody who’s going to push us down over and over again. But it’s okay. It’s okay as long as we try not to give up.

Yet, it’s okay to give up sometimes. It’s okay not to be able to sing that one song. It’s okay not to be able to draw a perfect window. Because we aren’t perfect at all. We all have our own flaws. The thing we have to remember is, it’s okay to have flaws. If we think we don’t have flaws, then we’re wrong. We just can’t see all of them, or maybe we see all of them. But accepting those flaws is the hardest part. If we don’t accept them, then we won’t go anywhere with life. By accepting our flaws, we’re showing that we’re ready to face them.

I feel as if I’m contradicting myself here. Okay, then, now it’s review time. We can reach our dreams if we really work hard enough, but life is a hard road. You have to know when it’s okay to give up and when it’s not okay to give up, and it’s important to accept our flaws. Got it? I hope so, because I’m a very contradictory person.

Back to the subject, we sometimes won’t be able to reach our dreams as fast as we wanted to. But that’s okay, because every little step counts when we’re trying to catch our dreams. If you can’t leap, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. If you can’t crawl, still, don’t stop trying.

Sometimes, it’s okay if we don’t reach our ultimate dream. It’s okay if I don’t become a famous, known-world-wide author. If I’m famous in the city I live in, then yes! I’ll be happy! Another example is this: My mom always wanted to be a doctor. But as time went on, it would cost too much money and probably take her too long to become a doctor while being a mother to her children, so she decided to simply be a nurse. It was close enough to her dream to be happy.

As I said, it’s okay to give up sometimes.

Well, to whoever’s reading this, I wish you my best wishes for catching your dreams. Oh, a good quote, “You can’t catch your dreams until you let go of them.”

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Determination and Self-Esteem

All my life, I’ve been wondering what my purpose was.
I think I might have found it.
But first, I think I’ll share something to you that I’ve learned.
When you fall, you get back up.
Did you ever ask yourself why?

I don’t really believe in energy. When we get tired, it’s because we’re mentally exhausted and we lost the joy we had earlier. But sometimes, for some people like me, you might lose all your “energy.” Recently, I spent a whole day falling onto my knees and sobbing.
I lost my hope in everything.
On another website, I said that hope was the main center of life. I think I’m contradicting myself now.
It’s not hope, it’s determination.
That day, all those times I feel down, I asked myself, Why did I want to live?
I can tell the answer to that.
I always wanted to be a writer. It’s a dream that I’ve been keeping for a long time. But for some reason, no one I know in real life believes I can be a famous author. Not even my own brothers. But I’m determined to keep trying.
All those times I fell down, it took my determination to bring myself back up. I cared about my little sister. If I fell apart, if I even died, she would be hurt. She would miss me. And, as time passes by, she would forget the older sister who cared about her that the older sister wouldn’t even give up.
Why is it that an inexperienced dancer will keep trying to dance better than all the rest? It can be pride. It could be hope. But you know what I think it is?
Determination. Determination to be the best. Determination that she could prove to herself that she was good.

In my life, I’ve barely had any self-esteem. My brothers thought I was weak and my parents thought I was a nuisance most of the time. Whenever I did anything, they didn’t say anything nice to me, and I though I was always doing wrong. Back then, it was me who crumpled my own dreams. I always told myself that I was horrible. That everyone hated me. That they loved to laugh at me. That I was dumb. That I was horrid. That the whole world wouldn’t mind if I died, not even God.
I believed it all.
I can’t remember how I lived through those years. I forgot. But it included crying myself to sleep every night and wondering if the pain, the torture, would ever end.
There’s always a spring after a winter.
But maybe I died before the spring came.

But, I went on a young writer’s website one day. And about a month later, I went on the forums. That was the most memorable day of my life. They accepted me. And when I showed them my writings, my poems, my own heart, they accepted me. Some of them said they even cried.
Cry for me?
Never.
Or so I believed

And still, all those internet friends I made. I think those are more precious than the people in real life. And I’m sorry for that. But everyone abandoned me in those years that I needed them most, and the Wrimos, all my internet friends, brought me back.
And I changed.
Sure, I don’t have a huge amount of self-esteem. But these people made me believe again. In the world, in the people I know in real life, and myself.
We should seriously give ourselves a second chance, and maybe a pat on the back every once in a while.

So, if you’re in the dumps, then remember that there will always be someone who can believe in you. It’s important. Don’t hurt yourself because the world wants to hurt you. You are amazing, no matter who you are or what you do for a living. Make sure you’re determined to do the best.
Adios.

That Little Girl (another poem, some people said it was my best ever)

See that little girl?
She reminds me
Of someone of the past,
Another little girl,
A girl with a bright future.

You know that little girl?
She never knew how
She affected so many
Other people who
Knew she had a bright future.

Remember that little girl?
She’s still here, in our
Hearts, forever. She’s also
Talking to you now, and she
Never knew she would have a bright future.

See that little girl?
She is so different,
Yet she’s the same,
She knows you, as I know you,
She’s not another girl,
We’re the same girl of the same future.

You know that little girl?
She had dreams, so many
Dreams, some would take her
So far away, and would
Show her a bright future.

Remember that little girl?
She cried herself to sleep
So many nights. She never
Wanted to be perfect, but some
People think that, and of her bright future.

See that little girl?
She reminds me
Of someone of the past,
Another little girl,
A girl with a bright future.

You know that little girl?
She thought she was so little,
So unimportant, so useless,
Why did no one tell her otherwise?
She almost thought, really almost
Thought she wouldn’t have a bright future.

Remember that little girl?
She’s still here with you,
She may seem so grown up,
But just watch and listen,
She still has to have a bright future.

See that little girl?
She reminds me
Of someone of the past,
Another little girl,
A girl with a bright future.

You know that little girl?
She thought she was nothing.
She once thought life was pointless.
If only we could go back into the past,
And tell her that she has a bright future.

Remember that little girl?
She wants to know if you,
Yes, you, believe in magic.
Magic has happened to her already,
And showed her she has a bright future.

See that little girl?
She reminds me
Of someone of the past,
Another little girl,
A girl with a bright future.

You know that little girl?
She never knew how
She affected so many
Other people who
Knew she had a bright future.

One Last Time (one of my poems)

I wanted to see you one last time,
Before you left me forever,
What more could I ask?
All I want is my sister.

I wanted to tell you one last time,
That I loved you,
But I didn’t, and my sorrow is too huge,
Much too huge to be true.

I wanted to say I couldn’t survive without you,
That I just can’t live on any more,
But then I thought of what you would think of me,
You would help me like when I was sore.

I wanted to hug you one last time,
To kiss you on the cheek,
But you left without letting me,
And that left a long, hurting streak.

I wanted to just see you one last time,
Before you left me forever,
What more could I ask?
All I want is my sister.

I wanted to be assured that everything was okay, one last time,
That I was a good girl,
That you were there for me,
But I had to learn that this was a cruel world.

I wanted you to be by my side, one last time,
Just that you may give me advice,
But of course it won’t happen,
Only if fate was nice.

I wanted to read with you at night, one last time,
That we may enjoy one more book,
I would cry and ask you to read again,
You would say that tomorrow we would take another look,

I wanted to just see you one last time,
Before you left me forever,
What more could I ask?
All I want is my sister.

I wanted to fall apart, for I knew there were no last times,
To die, to be taken to pieces,
I never thought I could live without you,
Even if I had a life of silks and laces.

I wish I could hold you, sister, one last time,
You were my idol, you were my north star,
You were the one I looked up to,
You were the one who took my dreams afar,

I wish that life was nice, for one last time,
I wish that I could do everything with you,
Things that would last a lifetime,
Things that were nice and new,

I wish that tears don’t fall, for one last time,
I wish that my heart could mend,
I wish it could heal,
But I just lost my best friend.

I wanted to just see you one last time,
Before you left me forever,
What more could I ask?
All I want is my sister.